Been wondering about life lately, and thats not to say that I am all sorts of deep and stuff, just been thinking, is all. Really, Ive been thinking about my life in relationship to work, love and relationships in general. Being nice, being mean, being what I think is me. Ive tried hard to be myself, what God wants me to be, what I want to be, while still keeping in mind, its not about me.

Relationships are tough. Especially when youre divorced twice, twenty-seven and living at home with your mom for the first time in almost nine years. Yeah, wrap you head around that one for a sec. Been on a couple of OK dates, some not OK dates and a couple really good ones. Having never really done the whole dating thing before, it can be more than a little nerve wracking. The expectations, the build-up, the anticipation of does he like me or doesnt he? and then the date itsself: seriously and utterly mentally exhausting. What to wear, what not to wear? Then, do we kiss, do we not kiss, do I even want to kiss? Exhausting, I tell you.

Tonight was a great date. Actually, probably the best I have ever been on. Or close. No expectations, no worrying about what to wear - ok, so there was a little worrying there, I am female after all - not wondering, is he going to kiss me, should I kiss him?, etc, etc, etc. Just fun. Dinner, hitting a bucket of balls, something I have never done, and then mini golf. Fun date all in all. A little short, coz he is oh so cute, but fun nonetheless.

Now all I am left wondering is: Is he as in to me as I am in to him???